Home featured Trevor Noah: Trump Is Immune to Factual Information

Trevor Noah: Trump Is Immune to Factual Information


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President Trump continues to play down the threat of the coronavirus, touting his quick recovery after testing positive. “Maybe I’m immune, I don’t know,” he mused in a video on Monday.

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“And that’s why this whole Covid thing is a real dilemma for President Trump, because ‘Sick man leaves hospital to continue to get round-the-clock medical attention at home’ is not exactly a flattering story, but ‘Sick man kicks virus’s ass and can never get sick again’? Now that’s a good story.” — TREVOR NOAH

[imitating Trump] Maybe I’m immune. Maybe I’m Spiderman and I can shoot webs out of my wrists — who knows? Pew pew, pew pew.” — TREVOR NOAH

“What the hell kind of a thing is that to say? ‘Maybe I’m immune, I don’t know’? It sounds like the last thing a frat bro says right before he drinks the toilet water for 20 bucks.” — TREVOR NOAH

“Look, I don’t know how it’s possible to see all the damage that coronavirus has done this year, then get seriously sick from it yourself, and then come out of the hospital and say it’s no big deal, it’s just like the flu? You know, you would think that somewhere along that journey Trump would pick up a tiny, tiny bit of knowledge. But, hey, maybe he’s immune to that, too.” — TREVOR NOAH

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“It feels like that part of the movie where Trump was bitten by a werewolf and plays it off like it’s no big deal. He’s like, ‘Totally fine, never better. Sure, I howl at the moon and have a taste for humans, but mostly A-OK.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Trump’s still sick and he thinks he’s immune. He’s like, ‘I just tested negative. I just peed on a nasal swab five minutes ago. So, could we look into that?’” — JIMMY FALLON

[as Trump] We have the best medicine. We all have experimental treatments that nobody else has gotten. We all have the best helicopter to fly us to and from our publicly subsidized mansion that itself contains an in-home intensive care unit. We’re definitely gonna beat this virus. That’s what we all have. Not sure about you all, though. We all have that.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Typhoid Donny made a Trumpumphant return to the White House last night, with a dramatic balcony scene that only an egomaniac on massive amounts of drugs would ever even think to stage.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“It’s genuinely hard to recall a moment in American life that felt more unhinged than the grotesque spectacle we all witnessed last night. An infectious president on powerful steroids and experimental drugs walking around with a potentially deadly virus, making a big show of leaving the hospital, flying back to the White House at sunset, and just before Joe Biden’s town hall, taking his mask off in front of the cameras and visibly gasping for air, like he’s been guarding LeBron James all night.” — SETH MEYERS

“Trump coming home and taking off the mask really sends a bad message. In fact, the only thing worse than the message this sent is the actual message he sent.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“I haven’t been this confused by a masked man on a balcony since Michael Jackson dangled that baby off one.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“There’s a lot to unpack here. First, why would he use the White House entrance with the most stairs?” — JIMMY FALLON

“Seriously, I’m not sure it was safe for him to climb 22 steps before Covid. It felt like that famous scene where Rocky climbs up the steps, but everyone behind him is running in the opposite direction.” — JIMMY FALLON

“That’s the craziest thing he’s ever done on that balcony — and that’s the same place where he looked straight into an eclipse.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Trump wanted this to be a show of strength, but moments after taking off his mask, he was clearly struggling to breathe. Still, it’s a strong look, because nothing bad ever happens to people who are famous for their balconies: Your Mussolini, your Saddam, your Juliets.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“And I know Trump thinks this is a triumphant moment, but he’s presumably still riddled with Covid and he’s about to walk indoors and expose it to everyone inside? Yo, this wasn’t a photo op; it was a biological attack on the White House.” — TREVOR NOAH

“I mean, there was a photographer standing right next to him. That dude is basically the world’s unluckiest Instagram boyfriend.” — TREVOR NOAH

“Only Donald Trump would think climbing stairs is a feat of strength. [imitating Trump] ‘Now watch me drink water with one hand, and for my final trick, I will close this umbrella. It can’t be done! Hey, how did you do it, Mary Poppins?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Once on the balcony, Kim Jong Don removed his mask. [as Trump] ‘I’m back from the hospital, and just to put any lingering doubts to rest, I’ve learned nothing. Kneel before me, you weak and withered, and inhale my precious droplets!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“By the way, the only reason we could even tell that he was gasping for air was that the highly infectious president who is actively symptomatic with a potential deadly virus took his mask off once he got back to the White House. Wow, so the villain is unmasked at the end of the episode. The only thing missing was Scooby and the gang.” — SETH MEYERS

James Corden performed a timely Trump-themed parody set to the tune of Paul McCartney’s “Maybe I’m Amazed.”

Maya Rudolph will talk about impersonating Kamala Harris for “Saturday Night Live” on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”

ImageClockwise from top left: Scenes from “Evil Eye,” “Black Box,” “Nocturne” and “The Lie.”
Credit…Photographs via Amazon Studios



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