Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Rudy and the Recount
This week, it was reported that Rudy Giuliani had asked to be paid $20,000 a day for his work managing President Trump’s court challenges to his loss in the election. That would have made Giuliani among the most highly compensated lawyers anywhere, even as Mr. Trump’s lawsuits fail one after another.
“Wow, he’s the gift that keeps on grifting, isn’t he?” Jimmy Kimmel joked Tuesday night.
“Rudy Giuliani denied asking for that much. He said Trump told him they’d ‘work it out at the end.’ That’s a good strategy. That usually goes well. Whether it be a contractor, a porn star or the I.R.S., Donald Trump always pays his debts!” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I guess this explains why Trump has been passing the MAGA hat around, asking his fans to donate to his legal defense fund.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I wouldn’t hire Rudy Giuliani if he paid me 20 grand a day.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Trump’s campaign was like, ‘If we can afford that, we’d have hired a real lawyer.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“I’m excited when Trump doesn’t pay and then he hires Rudy Giuliani to sue Rudy Giuliani.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Turns out, Rudy has tried to wrestle power away from the current longstanding campaign leadership in an internal campaign coup. Wait, they’re attempting a coup inside their coup? That is coup coup!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“But down in D.C. the president is slowly, agonizingly going through the five stages of narcissistic grief: denial, denial, denial, denial, denial and denial. I know that’s six, but Rudy is demanding a recount.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Graham Edition)
“Georgia secretary of state Brad Raffensperger said yesterday that Republican Senator Lindsey Graham pressured him to find a way to toss legally cast absentee ballots to reverse President Trump’s loss in the state. Man, just when you think Lindsey Graham couldn’t sink any lower — why would you think that?” — SETH MEYERS
“Well, they finally found some voter fraud — and it’s always the last place you look: in the mirror.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“I’m sure the secretary of state was terrified. I mean, how intimidating is Lindsey Graham?” — JIMMY FALLON
“Lindsey Graham had better hope Donald doesn’t see this, because on the Senate floor today, Lindsey Graham sauntered over and you see he gave a congratulatory fist bump and pat to Kamala Harris, our vice president-elect. He’s wearing a mask, he’s fist-bumping Kamala — it’s almost like Lindsey Graham is an unscrupulous opportunist who blows with whichever way the wind goes.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Conan O’Brien, who announced Tuesday he will be leaving late night for his own weekly show on HBO Max, shared some of the comments he’s been getting about his Covid-era hair.
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Dan Levy, the star of the sitcom “Schitt’s Creek” who is also featured in People magazine’s latest “Sexiest Man Alive” issue, will appear on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”